Nope. Nada. No thanks.
As I sat not so patiently waiting for my name to be called for chemo, I ran into my Oncologist who said, "hi, I was just looking for you ... can I talk to you?". I almost had a heart attack. In the two seconds that it took to grab my mom, a million rotten thoughts raced through my mind. Thankfully it was nothing serious.
Dr. Y wanted to talk to my about an international clinical trial that was just starting for breast cancer patients. He spoke about the trial, the side effects, and then mentioned the bleep ... if I decided to be a part of this study, my chemo would be push back 2 weeks. My answer was easy ... nope! I had prepared my myself for today ... and today it would be!
I arrived at the chemo waiting room at about 9:50 a.m. It was packed. There was actually a line up to register. I was overwhelmed by the number of cancer patients. After signing in, I had to take a moment to gather my thoughts and have a quick cry in the bathroom. I still have days that I can't believe I too am a cancer patient.
The actual chemo treatments wasn't too bad. My nurse was amazing! She explained each of the drugs and possible side effects. She brought me warm packs for my IV arm and a nice warm blanket. I even got to witness a man "ringing the bell" ... he had just had his last chemo treatment ... the whole room clapped. It was wonderful!
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Hello my luv. You were in my heart all day today. It sounds like it was such a roller coaster of emotions: apprehension, panic, fear, gratitude, and probably many more. I know you dont want to be a warrior, but I truly believe that you are one. You lead the way for many of us, showing us how to move forward, whether it be for one moment, one hour, or one day at time.
ReplyDeleteMary-Anne
Sister - you are truly an inspiration. You were on my mind from the time I woke up until now...keep your head held high my girl and remember all the people that LOVE you dealy!
ReplyDeleteXOX Tammy XOX (the second ones are for Mik!)
Hey TD! So glad you are blogging, I think you will be able to look back on this blog someday and be so glad you documented this journey.
ReplyDeleteI am glad today went well ... I will be keeping tabs on you for sure with the blog, I am still up for a visit whenever you are feeling ready for one!
You know the clap that that gentle man had... You'll have that too and I will be there.
ReplyDeleteUhmm... about my last comment...I didn't mean the "clap" for the gentle man... uhm, oops... I meant the "applause" God forbid he gets that ! :)
ReplyDelete