Chemo is not so bad when you arrive in style ... a lovely black convertible BMW. This morning Caroline was my chemo escort and what a lovely escort she was! We arrived at the Cancer Centre is fine time ... 9:25 a.m. As I got checked in Caroline went on a Tim Horton's run. Then we got settled in the room and waited for over an hour for my chemo meds to come (from the Pharmacy down the hall).
I don't normally complain about my chemo nurses but today's nurse was a total crab! Honest to God she's not well suited for the job. When I asked for my ice mittens and slippers she was short and curt. Not a good start to my five hour visit. Thankfully when she went on break and lunch, I got the royal treatment from another LOVELY nurse. She definitely made up for what the other lacked.
Caroline and I had decided that we would go to the movies after chemo ... excellent ... we decided on State of Play (excellent choice). By 2:00 p.m. we were packing up my blanket and our magazines ... with time to spare we agreed that a quick shop at Winner's was in order! So far this day was proving to be a success! After shopping we headed to the movies, followed by a quick dog walk, and then DQ! Honestly, I can't think of a better way to end a chemo day!
As usual I'm bracing myself for the Neulatus shot tomorrow. However, this time I have stronger pain meds and an appointment for acupressure. Hopefully it will be better than last time! Five down one to go!!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I can breathe!
After 3+ days of struggling to breathe, drink, eat, and sleep, I can finally breathe through my nose. Woohoo! Yesterday I went back to the hospital to have the packing removed from my nose. I prayed the bleeding would not re-start once the packing came out. And, thankfully it decided! My nose is still trickling a little blood but nothing serious.
Now that the nose bleeds seem to be under control it's time to deal with the blood clot again. The hospital was supposed to set up an appointment this morning with the Thrombosis but I've yet to hear anything. So I'll have to take matters into my own hands and call the clinic when it opens.
I have so many Dr.'s appointments this week ... it's unbelievable. Three on Wednesday, two on Thursday, and one Friday! This is supposed to be my good week .... you know ... the week that I go out and have fun. So far no such luck with the exception of dinner on Thursday with my former PHAC colleagues. Yahoo looking forward to Colonnade pizza and a couple of laughs.
Now that the nose bleeds seem to be under control it's time to deal with the blood clot again. The hospital was supposed to set up an appointment this morning with the Thrombosis but I've yet to hear anything. So I'll have to take matters into my own hands and call the clinic when it opens.
I have so many Dr.'s appointments this week ... it's unbelievable. Three on Wednesday, two on Thursday, and one Friday! This is supposed to be my good week .... you know ... the week that I go out and have fun. So far no such luck with the exception of dinner on Thursday with my former PHAC colleagues. Yahoo looking forward to Colonnade pizza and a couple of laughs.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Did you not get my message?
Clearly God, the doctors, and my own body didn't get my "enough" message!
One of the side effects of the bone thinner injections is possible nose bleeds. I didn't think much of this possible side effect. I've been getting nose bleeds on and off for the last week or so. Apparently, Taxotere also causes nose bleeds. So really the chances were pretty good that I'd be getting them. The nurse also told me that if the bleeding didn't stop within 10 minutes I needed to go to Emergency.
PART I
It all started Friday afternoon. Within minutes of finishing my workout my nose started to bleed. I sat on the treadmill while my trainer feed me Kleenex. It would start bleeding than stop for a few minutes and then start all over again. After almost 45 minutes, my trainer encouraged me to go to Emergency ... after all, I was close!
I presented myself at Emergency at 3:30 p.m. Handed in my health card, and quickly told them that I was a cancer patient, on chemo, with a port, a blood clot, and taking on blood thinner! Well, that seem to work! I was sent to a room within minutes.
First I met with the nurse who wanted to take blood. That's fine I said, use my port. She was reluctant ... when I asked why ... she said that setting up to take blood from a port was time consuming. I thought to myself this could get very ugly! I stood my ground ... and insisted that she use the port. She did and all was well.
Then I met with a very nice Dr. who said she would have to cauterize my nose. Easy enough ... she froze my nose and went at it. But it didn't stop bleeding. So the next step was to "pack" my nose. Not so easy! I have a little nose ... which makes packing it difficult. If you've never had your nose packed ... they ram what looks like a Popsicle stick up your nose and than shoot saline solution up it to turn it into a sponge. Put it this way it hurts like hell!
Alo the Thrombosis resident (blood clot Dr.) told me to stop taking the blood thinner injections until I see my Dr. on Tuesday. So what does that mean for my blood clot? Apparently there is no chance that the clot will move to my heart or lungs.
By the time it was all said and done it was 7:30 p.m. I was sent home with a prescription for antibiotic, and strict instruction - no hot drinks, sleep sitting up, and if it starts to bleed again come back to Emergency.
PART II
At 4:15 a.m. doesn't my nose start again. This time it's bleeding like a tap. So, I wake Mik up and off we go to the hospital. In the 10 minutes that it takes to get to the General, I went through one roll of toilet paper, a box of Kleenex, and a tea towel.
This time the Emergency room was a little bit busier than earlier. We waited for 15 minutes before being sent back to the exact same room. Again, the nurse wanted to take blood and hook me up to an IV ... no problem I thought ... use my port. She said she would use my port for the IV but still need to draw blood from my arm. I told her that I was comfortable with that approach - since 1. nobody can find a vein, and 2. I don't like needles. She tried anyways ... and guess what ... after poking around looking for a vein in my arm she decided to use the port. So far this visit was not going well.
Then the Dr. comes in. Dr. Van P ... we'll just call him Dr. Yummy. He was so cute! Even Mikeala was checking him out. He looked at my nose, pulled out a couple of HUGE blood clots and the old packing, and told me that he would have to re-pack my nose. Lovely I thought ... sedate me. At first he was agreeable but then he told me that I may stop breathing from the sedation ... OK I said ... but then heavy duty pain meds are a MUST. He agreed. Excellent we're both on the same page. He ordered up the IV meds, froze my nose a couple of time, and then pack it. It was fine ... no problem.
My next step is to go back to the hospital on Monday to have the packing removed. Please for the love of God, give me a break ... enough is enough!!
One of the side effects of the bone thinner injections is possible nose bleeds. I didn't think much of this possible side effect. I've been getting nose bleeds on and off for the last week or so. Apparently, Taxotere also causes nose bleeds. So really the chances were pretty good that I'd be getting them. The nurse also told me that if the bleeding didn't stop within 10 minutes I needed to go to Emergency.
PART I
It all started Friday afternoon. Within minutes of finishing my workout my nose started to bleed. I sat on the treadmill while my trainer feed me Kleenex. It would start bleeding than stop for a few minutes and then start all over again. After almost 45 minutes, my trainer encouraged me to go to Emergency ... after all, I was close!
I presented myself at Emergency at 3:30 p.m. Handed in my health card, and quickly told them that I was a cancer patient, on chemo, with a port, a blood clot, and taking on blood thinner! Well, that seem to work! I was sent to a room within minutes.
First I met with the nurse who wanted to take blood. That's fine I said, use my port. She was reluctant ... when I asked why ... she said that setting up to take blood from a port was time consuming. I thought to myself this could get very ugly! I stood my ground ... and insisted that she use the port. She did and all was well.
Then I met with a very nice Dr. who said she would have to cauterize my nose. Easy enough ... she froze my nose and went at it. But it didn't stop bleeding. So the next step was to "pack" my nose. Not so easy! I have a little nose ... which makes packing it difficult. If you've never had your nose packed ... they ram what looks like a Popsicle stick up your nose and than shoot saline solution up it to turn it into a sponge. Put it this way it hurts like hell!
Alo the Thrombosis resident (blood clot Dr.) told me to stop taking the blood thinner injections until I see my Dr. on Tuesday. So what does that mean for my blood clot? Apparently there is no chance that the clot will move to my heart or lungs.
By the time it was all said and done it was 7:30 p.m. I was sent home with a prescription for antibiotic, and strict instruction - no hot drinks, sleep sitting up, and if it starts to bleed again come back to Emergency.
PART II
At 4:15 a.m. doesn't my nose start again. This time it's bleeding like a tap. So, I wake Mik up and off we go to the hospital. In the 10 minutes that it takes to get to the General, I went through one roll of toilet paper, a box of Kleenex, and a tea towel.
This time the Emergency room was a little bit busier than earlier. We waited for 15 minutes before being sent back to the exact same room. Again, the nurse wanted to take blood and hook me up to an IV ... no problem I thought ... use my port. She said she would use my port for the IV but still need to draw blood from my arm. I told her that I was comfortable with that approach - since 1. nobody can find a vein, and 2. I don't like needles. She tried anyways ... and guess what ... after poking around looking for a vein in my arm she decided to use the port. So far this visit was not going well.
Then the Dr. comes in. Dr. Van P ... we'll just call him Dr. Yummy. He was so cute! Even Mikeala was checking him out. He looked at my nose, pulled out a couple of HUGE blood clots and the old packing, and told me that he would have to re-pack my nose. Lovely I thought ... sedate me. At first he was agreeable but then he told me that I may stop breathing from the sedation ... OK I said ... but then heavy duty pain meds are a MUST. He agreed. Excellent we're both on the same page. He ordered up the IV meds, froze my nose a couple of time, and then pack it. It was fine ... no problem.
My next step is to go back to the hospital on Monday to have the packing removed. Please for the love of God, give me a break ... enough is enough!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
ENOUGH!!
I'm done! That's it ... no more please! If you're offended by profanity ... you may wish to skip right over this entry. I make no guarantees.
I'm sick and tired of BC and chemotherapy. Well, more specifically the side effects from chemo! If there's a side effect to be had ... I've had it! So far my grocery list of side effects have been:
I'm sick and tired of BC and chemotherapy. Well, more specifically the side effects from chemo! If there's a side effect to be had ... I've had it! So far my grocery list of side effects have been:
- Nausea - check
- Fatigue - check
- Bone pain - check check check
- Insomnia - check
- Hair loss - check
- Sore veins - check
- Diarrhea - check
- Constipation - check
- Nose bleeds - check
- Thrush - check
- Weight gain - mini check ... I've gain 4 to 5 pounds
- and ... now for the side effect of all side effects ....
I now have a blood clot in my arm. Lovely ... just what I always wanted! For the last couple of days, my "good arm" has been sore and red. It looks like I had a really defined bicep ... NOT! So yesterday I called Dr. Y's nurse to discuss my latest ailment. She was stumped! She promised to check with Dr. Y and get back to me. But I didn't heard from her. So I continued on with my day and night.
As luck would have it, last night was our Stepping Stones get together. So after sharing war stories about Taxotere, aka the BEAST, I stripped down to get some views on my arm! And, the consensus was ... see the Dr. cause it's probably a blood clot (which is exactly what I thought it was too). Needless to say I didn't sleep very well. I kept thinking that I was going to die ... the blood clot would travel ... and that would be it for me. Oh, did I mention the clot is on the left side ... you know where your heart it!
The telephone lines at the Cancer Clinic don't open til 9:00 a.m. ... so I waited and waited. And at 8:00 a.m. my nurse called asking me to come into the hospital as Dr. Y wanted to see my arm. And, sure enough ... blood clot ... I went for an ultrasound to confirm his suspicions ... and yep ... blood clot in my left arm. Lovely just ... effing lovely!
The treatment for a blood clot is blood thinners ... sounds simple enough ... NOPE! Starting today until the end of my chemo treatments I will have to have an daily injection in my belly. Now, this means that at some point and time I am going to have to learn to give myself the injection. Just to recap ... I'm scared to death of needles!
So all and all it was a shitty day but to lightened things up ... Mik and I are going to an all you can eat sushi restaurant for dinner!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Who knew?
Breast cancer is a strange disease. On one hand is an extremely frightening and painful journey filled with uncertainties and on the other hand it takes you down a path overflowing with love, gifts, and spiritual awakenings.
This week, like most of my first week's of chemo, has been particularly difficult. I have been suffering with extreme bone pain for four days. I've been trying to manage the pain with Tylenol 2 and morphine but nothing seems to be taking the edge off. In addition to the pain bone, my stomach is reacting badly to all the meds. And, I haven't had a good night sleep in days!
Normally I would be really stoked about Easter weekend ... there's nothing I love more than to cook a big turkey dinner and ang out with family and friends. However this year, my family is at the cottage and Mikeala is working. Knowing that it's probably not a good idea that I be alone for four days, Mike offered to put Lilly, Mikeala and I up for the weekend. Yahoo my own personal nurse for a weekend!
I don't think he quite knew what he was in for! I've pretty much taken over his bed, TV, and snacks. Last night the pain was off the chart. I had taken my morphine pills at 1:00 a.m. and waited and waited for them to kick in ... but nothing. I finally woke Mike up at 5:00 a.m. crying. I had had enough! was ready to head to the hospital for something a little stronger than morphine ... if that even exists. One problem ... Mikeala had to be at work for 9:00 a.m. and based on my last visit to emergency I knew we wouldn't be back in time. So we decided to wait. Mike rubbed my back until I fell asleep and by the Grace of God I slept for two hours.
Mike and I have always had a weird relationship but when push come to shove he's always got my back. I'm so grateful that he's taking care of me this weekend. Who knew ex's could be so great?!
This week, like most of my first week's of chemo, has been particularly difficult. I have been suffering with extreme bone pain for four days. I've been trying to manage the pain with Tylenol 2 and morphine but nothing seems to be taking the edge off. In addition to the pain bone, my stomach is reacting badly to all the meds. And, I haven't had a good night sleep in days!
Normally I would be really stoked about Easter weekend ... there's nothing I love more than to cook a big turkey dinner and ang out with family and friends. However this year, my family is at the cottage and Mikeala is working. Knowing that it's probably not a good idea that I be alone for four days, Mike offered to put Lilly, Mikeala and I up for the weekend. Yahoo my own personal nurse for a weekend!
I don't think he quite knew what he was in for! I've pretty much taken over his bed, TV, and snacks. Last night the pain was off the chart. I had taken my morphine pills at 1:00 a.m. and waited and waited for them to kick in ... but nothing. I finally woke Mike up at 5:00 a.m. crying. I had had enough! was ready to head to the hospital for something a little stronger than morphine ... if that even exists. One problem ... Mikeala had to be at work for 9:00 a.m. and based on my last visit to emergency I knew we wouldn't be back in time. So we decided to wait. Mike rubbed my back until I fell asleep and by the Grace of God I slept for two hours.
Mike and I have always had a weird relationship but when push come to shove he's always got my back. I'm so grateful that he's taking care of me this weekend. Who knew ex's could be so great?!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
All that packing for nothing!
By the time I was finished packing all my goodies for chemo, I could barely carry the bag. I was definitely prepared. But in the end the only thing that I used from my handy dandy bag was my blanket.
There is so much activity in the chemo room that I spent most of the time people watch. By the end of my 5 1/2 hour treatment, I knew who was getting chemo, who was being cancelled and why. I knew how long they'd been at the hospital and where they lived. One poor couple had drove in from Smith Falls to have blood work, meet with the Oncologist, and have chemo ... only to find out that her blood count was too low to have chemo ... so they had to reschedule her for next week. Poor thing!
So far I feel pretty good. I had a good night sleep despite having to wake up at 3 a.m. to take meds. Apparently with Taxotere and Herceptin it can take 2 to 3 days before the bone pain sets in ... however my nurse is coming later today to give my the white blood cell shot from hell ... so I'm hoping for the best but planning for the worse. I've decided to try taking the shot in my stomach instead of my hip or arm ... the Stepping Stones ladies tell my it's easy on your system.
I've also decided that if the bone pain is anything like it's been in the past I'm taking my morphine pills! I've already taken a couple of Tylenols the morning just in case. My legs are a little sore but I don't know if it's from the drugs or because I ran on the treadmill yesterday.
There is so much activity in the chemo room that I spent most of the time people watch. By the end of my 5 1/2 hour treatment, I knew who was getting chemo, who was being cancelled and why. I knew how long they'd been at the hospital and where they lived. One poor couple had drove in from Smith Falls to have blood work, meet with the Oncologist, and have chemo ... only to find out that her blood count was too low to have chemo ... so they had to reschedule her for next week. Poor thing!
So far I feel pretty good. I had a good night sleep despite having to wake up at 3 a.m. to take meds. Apparently with Taxotere and Herceptin it can take 2 to 3 days before the bone pain sets in ... however my nurse is coming later today to give my the white blood cell shot from hell ... so I'm hoping for the best but planning for the worse. I've decided to try taking the shot in my stomach instead of my hip or arm ... the Stepping Stones ladies tell my it's easy on your system.
I've also decided that if the bone pain is anything like it's been in the past I'm taking my morphine pills! I've already taken a couple of Tylenols the morning just in case. My legs are a little sore but I don't know if it's from the drugs or because I ran on the treadmill yesterday.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Packing ....
When I think of packing, I think of a vacation, road trip, picnic, bike ride, trip to the beach, or maybe even a hike at Tremblant. Tonight, well actually tomorrow (cause I am the Queen of procrastination!) I will be packing for chemo.
Tomorrow I will be having my fourth chemo treatment. This treatment is slightly different from the last three. My cocktail has changed. I will be getting a couple of new drugs ... Taxotere and Herceptin. Dr. Y told me that my chemo treatment will last five hours ... which really means six hours. And because there's a risk of having an allergic reaction to the meds, I will be under observation for most of my time at the Cancer Clinic. I'm also taking steroids for a couple of days ... apparently this helps prevent an allergic reaction.
Taxotere has different side effects ... apparently the nausea is much less (we like this one), but the bone pain is much worse (not so good considering the white blood shot already has this side effect covered!). Taxotere can also make your fingers and toes numb ... so while the drug is being administered, I will have ice gloves on my hands and ice packs on my feet.
So what am I packing for a five to six hour visit at the Cancer Clinic you ask. Well, here's what I've come up with so far:
Tomorrow I will be having my fourth chemo treatment. This treatment is slightly different from the last three. My cocktail has changed. I will be getting a couple of new drugs ... Taxotere and Herceptin. Dr. Y told me that my chemo treatment will last five hours ... which really means six hours. And because there's a risk of having an allergic reaction to the meds, I will be under observation for most of my time at the Cancer Clinic. I'm also taking steroids for a couple of days ... apparently this helps prevent an allergic reaction.
Taxotere has different side effects ... apparently the nausea is much less (we like this one), but the bone pain is much worse (not so good considering the white blood shot already has this side effect covered!). Taxotere can also make your fingers and toes numb ... so while the drug is being administered, I will have ice gloves on my hands and ice packs on my feet.
So what am I packing for a five to six hour visit at the Cancer Clinic you ask. Well, here's what I've come up with so far:
- A blanket ... I can't stand being cold
- My portable DVD player
- LOST (Season II)
- Ear phones x 2 (a pair for me and a pair for mom)
- Book
- Smutty mags
- Water (must stay hydrated)
- Snacks ... probably crackers
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