Clearly I spoke too soon!

I haven't blogged for a while because I was so damn sick. By Wednesday I was sure that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. The nausea had been minimal and for that I was grateful. But I wasn't at all prepared for what was waiting around the corner.

When my nurse gave me my white blood cell injection she told me that I may feel a little achy ... something similar to being an old lady. I thought to myself .... this I can handle ... what's a little achy. Well, little it was not! By Wednesday night, I was contemplating suicide. Every bone in my body was killing me! I was in so much pain that I couldn't sleep, drink, eat, or walk. I tossed and turned all night, finally switching beds with Mikeala at 3:40 a.m. I thought maybe if I listened to a mediation CD all my troubles would disappear. No such luck!

By 9:00 a.m. Thursday, I paged my nurse. My pain was unbearable and had now become, in my opinion, a medical emergency. When she called me back she wasn't at all surprised about my pain ... apparently this is a normal side effect with the injection ... because ... get this ... my bone marrow is being stretched. Stretched! Well, that explains a thing or two. She recommended that I take regular Tylenol for the pain and if that didn't work they'd bumped it up to Tylenol 3. Thankfully, the Tylenol worked.

Once the pain was under control, I was able to get some sleep, think rationally, and stop crying. Today, was the first day that I actually made it out of bed. So in honour of making it down the stairs I washed all my floors!

Climbing up the mountain

Well, round two is over ... thank God that's done. Yesterday went well but the chemo seemed to take forever. The last time I went the red devil drug ran through the IV in about 15 mins this time it was more like 35 mins. According to the nurses, it was dripping wonderfully and they didn't want to adjust it. So who am I to argue?

In all the commotion of getting the IV and prescriptions, I had a melt down for all to see. Last week, the melt down took place in a lovely bathroom stall at the Cancer Centre. My emotions, particularly fear, appear and disappear at any given time. At times, all the appointments, needles, pills, nausea, fatigue, etc. etc. get the best of me. And, yesterday was no different!

We wrapped things up at the hospital around 5:15 p.m. and started to make our way home. So far, our routine has been pretty much the same ... mom comes with me and then we head to my house, dad comes by ... and then everybody hangs out with me until I'm feeling OK. Last night everyone stayed later since the nurse was visiting to give me hydration. She came by around 8:30 p.m., set everything up, got the IV running without a problem, showed me how to unhook the tubing, and then offered me a shot for nausea. I gladly accepted ... but holy mother God it hurt like a SOB. There was a little swearing involved!

I'm expecting another visit today for hydration and the white blood cell count injection. I'm opting for the shot in my butt and not in my arm ... hopefully it will hurt less!

So far the hydration seems to be working for the nausea. I feel pretty good ... tired and a little nauseous but totally manageable. I've only been able to eat a few soda crackers ... Ginger Ale has become my best friend.

Round two!

At 3:00 p.m. I will be sitting in the Ottawa Cancer Centre getting my second round of chemo, hopefully. Since my white blood cell count was borderline last week there is a chance that my chemo will be postponed. And, to make matters worse, I started a cold over the weekend.

Even though I've been so careful with hand washing and staying out of public areas ... I still managed to get a cold. Imagine! I don't think the cold alone will affect my chemo .... time will tell ... I'm heading to the hospital at around 9 a.m. for my blood work.

Surprisingly, I managed to sleep last night (without meds) with minimal interruptions. I even turned out the lights at 8:30 p.m.

Pills, pills, and more pills!

I've always been pro-medication but this is getting ridiculous! The amount of pills that I'm popping on a daily basis is bananas! The weeks that I'm not on chemo, I take on average 14 pills a day and when I am on chemo, I take over 20 pills a day. Then let's throw in a couple of injections, blood tests, a take-home IV, and the lovely intravenous chemo drugs. Enough!

I know it seems early in the game to be getting tired of all the meds but I am! When I'm in a good spiritual and emotional spot, I understand the need for the drugs and don't mind taking them. However, I've been a little more emotional the last couple of days ... partly because my next chemo treatment is right around the corner and partly because I'm PMS'ing.

I have more fear and anxiety about tomorrow then I did about my first chemo treatment (which means sleeping pill tonight). I guess it's because I have a pretty good idea of what to expect. Plus, I've been told that mouth sores and the famous metallic taste comes with the second treatment.

I'm pretty confident the hydration will help with the nausea but I'm definitely freaked out about the IV being lodged into my hand for a couple of days. When oh when is my port-a-cath going to be put in! Once I have it, I won't have to have an IV for chemo or hydration, or give blood from my arm. Of course, the whole idea of getting the port-a-cath put in under local anesthetic is a whole other story .... but I'll worry about that later. I have enough on my plate for today!

Woo hoo for private health insurance!

I am so grateful that I'm a public servant with a private health insurance! Today not only did I have an ultra sound appointment at 7:10 a.m., I also learned that I would need IV hydration and an injection to increase my white blood cells after each chemo treatment.

The hydration is pretty easy and should help with the nausea. Basically, all we need to do is keep the chemo IV in for a couple of extra days so my HomeCare nurse can come and hook me up to saline.

Now, the neutalus injection is a little different. Since my white blood cells, specifically my neutrophils, are low ... borderline according to Dr. Y ... this injection (given the day after chemo) will boost my white blood cell count. And seeing that my HomeCare nurse will already be at my house, she'll give me the injection (thank God cause I don't think I could give myself a needle). She'll probably give it to me in my hip or butt. So far so good ... until I found out the cost ... get ready ... it's crazy ... $2,600 per injection!

It was at this moment that gratitude kicked in. My insurance will pay for 80% ... good good ... but that still leaves $520 (every 3 weeks). Please! I can't even go there! Thankfully my nurse told me about the Victory Program. Victory will pay the remaining 20%. So the bottom line is the injection is 100% covered. I will only be responsible for the 80% up front cost until my insurance company reimburses me.

Now, if I could just get SunLife to expedite there health claims process I'd be laughing!

My new look

Although I like my wig, this is how it normally looks ...

Au naturelle ...
I'm most comfortable in a hat ... this one's my fav! So if you were to see me on the street ... chances are this is how I'd look.

I haven't gone out in public with my wig ... I'm a little self-conscious.

My sleeping hat ... looks goofy but it's really comfy!

Not impressed with 1st visit to Emergency!

Yesterday was a bad day. I was whipped from all the previous night's activities. Tuesday night I only got about two hours of sleep. Adjusting to wearing a sleep hat is easier than it sounds! I would over heat and undress and then five minutes later be freezing ... hot ... cold ... hot ... cold that was the pattern. By 3:30 a.m. I was so pissed off that I just stayed up. Needless to say I wasn't exactly a peach Wednesday!

My spirits and emotions just got worse as the day progressed. I was so tired and weak that I could barely get out of bed. And by mid-afternoon, the chills had set it. My doctor, PND, and HomeCare nurse have all talked to me about the magic number .... 38. If my temperature reaches 38, it's a medical emergency and I have to present myself to Emergency.

I monitored my temperature for a couple of hours .... up .... down .... up .... down. And, then at 6:30 p.m. the magic number appeared ... and stayed. I called HomeCare and she reiterated what I knew ... go to Emergency.

So I semi-reluctantly went to the hospital. I did, however, have a little peace knowing that as a cancer patient on chemo I'm considered a medical emergency I go to the top of the list. I was also told that I would not have to wait in the waiting room with the rest of the cattle.

Sadly, the Emergency Department didn't get the memo from the Cancer Centre. Not only did I wait in the waiting room I was there for almost seven hours. By the time we (mom, dad, and Mikeala) got to the hospital, my temperature had regulated itself ... and I wanted to leave. The nurse was adamant that I needed to stay and at least have blood work (so they can check my levels). Sounded reasonable so I agreed but told her that I would leave right after to blood test. She assured me that the waiting for the blood test would only be a few minutes.

One hour and chest x-ray later and still no blood work. Then my nurse spotted me (pretty hard to miss me since I looked that a smurf) - shocked that I hadn't had the blood work, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She took my blood (a million tubes ... and I'm not kidding) .... I felt light-headed and like I'm going to throw up ... so far the night was not going as planned. Then my lovely nurse pulled a fast one on me and hooked me up to an IV for fluids. That was her way of keeping me at the hospital!

Wait .... wait ... wait ... finally I got a closet in the back .... now it's 10 p.m. .... wait ... wait ... wait. Now let's no forget I'm a medical emergency. A nurse came in to check me out, asked for a urine sample, and then vanished into thin air but not before saying, "the doctor should be in shortly, there are only two patients ahead of you."

Well, the doctor did come in but not until after 1 a.m. Basically, the chest x-ray and urine were clear, and my blood counts were good (only one was up a little). So I had two options: 1) stay in the hospital over night so they can give me antibiotics intravenously; or 2) go home with oral antibiotics. The doctor recommended that I go home since they had nowhere to put me and by staying in Emergency over night I could run to risk of getting sicker.

By 2 a.m., armed with a couple of prescriptions, the Davis clan was off ...